What next?

Hey skaters!  Roller derby fans! Other people who got here my mistake! What’s happening?

So, we’ve been together a while. We’ve talked about the basics. What’s next?  How I can I use my long experience of attempting to play roller derby despite total lack of talent…to help YOU?

What topics would you like to see covered here?




Manatee Monday – it’s a craze! My new best internet friend posts a new manatee comic every week. On Mondays. Because it’s a thing. It’s a craze. It’s a movement.

I mean come on – last week’s was like a direct line from my heart.




Happy Friday!

Hey, it’s Friday, whooo! It’s gorgeous in Portland, Oregon – sunny and 70-something, and forecasted to stay that way through the weekend. We get these lovely early October days a lot. They seem like Mother Nature’s way of saying, “Hey, sorry about June.”

I’m not quite sure what to rock out to this afternoon. Here’s a start.

What’s your favorite sunny day jam?



Hey, I wrote about all the changes in Rose City rosters over at the Rose City Rollers blog. Writing about being retired was not sad. I’m okay, you guys. I wrote this one blog about how sad I was to retire but that was one moment in time. My feelings are great.

So these are two things we don’t have to be topics of conversation with everyone I see:

  • How sad it is that I retired
  • Am I pregnant

We can move right along to:

  • How you read my blog post about such-and-such and it was awesome
  • When will Downton Abbey Season Two be added to Netflix Streaming?
  • My burgeoning freelance writing business and people you know with money who might need my help
  • Sandwiches

…just as a couple of suggestions.

Should I go to champs?

I applied for a media pass – and who knows? The WFTDA will probably laugh me out of their email inbox, but I’ve got things to say! People link to me! In these dark days with no Derby Deeds, where will people get their sassy versions of unfolding roller derby events?

Right now plane tickets are about $300 to Atlanta from Portland. Not too bad.

It couldn’t be too hard to find a roommate. I’m even kind of boring. (Don’t ask Scylla about this. I have other references.)

The derby would be good, to a point. But $600+ out of my pocket good? Not sure.

I would definitely need a media pass or VIP. Last year at champs it was hell to fight for a decent seat until I lucked into VIP. Heaven. Trackside heaven.

Someone convince me to go.

Or not to – maybe you’re tired of my opinions. That’s fair.

How close to manatee habitat would I be in Atlanta?



Programming note – This site is moving servers at some point in the next week or so. I’m expecting the transition to be smooth, but one never does know. If something goes wrong: DO NOT PANIC. Look at a kitten video, then go back to work. You’ll forget you ever visited this blog at all.


Alternate title: Never let the other jammer catch you.

A couple of years back, Bonnie Thunders and OMG WTF came to Portland for Derby Daze and stayed over a little while. Like a lot of skaters hanging around Portland, they came to our regular Wednesday scrimmage. At one point, I ended up jamming against Bonnie.

It didn’t take her much time to get out of the pack, unsurprisingly. It took me longer (natch), but I did, and ended up maybe a half lap ahead of her as she came around after a scoring pass.

Getting through the pack took a lot out of me, because, you know – jamming is taxing.  While I knew that Bonnie Thunders was coming up behind me, I didn’t much care if she caught up or not. After all, what could I do against that kind of unstoppable force?

My half lap lead quickly turned into a quarter lap as I lagged.  A quarter lap turned into a matter of 20 feet. Then I heard, “NEVER LET THE OTHER JAMMER CATCH YOU.”

Bonnie Thunders yelled at me.

My first reaction was to be mildly pissed off. I don’t care for the other team telling me how to play, no matter who it is or what their intentions might be.

My second reaction was to skate faster. She didn’t catch me, and she called off the jam. Later, when my competitive brain turned off, I thanked her for the on-track advice.

So, remember, when you’re tired and the other jammer is coming up: Bonnie Thunders judges you.

Or: Don’t let the other jammer catch you. Ever.

This has been a little anecdote.

Sometimes we worry about our manatee friend. There are days when he spends an awful lot of time alone here at the house. Once in a while he gets to go on a car ride, or to the movies or the beach, but most human destinations are just not particularly manatee-friendly. There’s no Take Your Manatee to Work day. At least not where we work. This week, Manatee got bored, swam upstairs, and met Charlie the Fish.

Now they do everything together.

They sit on the porch and watch the world go by.

They tell secrets.

They bug me while I’m watching roller derby, and keep asking if Florida is playing, even though I told them seven times that Florida is playing NEXT weekend.

*Official time out, yawn.*



I think I’m done with westerns. I could write a response to Atomatrix about why no one likes Oly (and it’s only maybe 10% jealousy, btw), but I don’t want to bog myself down with that negativity anymore. Or what WOJ could have done better, but that’s a bummer too. Or my mixed feelings about rooting for a team that repeatedly voted to keep me off of it. But yeah. None of those are fun things to write about and I’m stressed out! I don’t need that crap! It makes me make this face.

Photo by Skippy Steve

…when I should be making this face…

So, that’s all for the moment on that subject! I’m gonna go eat a sandwich!

Would anyone like to talk about sandwiches?



Hi guys!

So! It’s a busy week! I’ve been writing this recap blog for the Rose City Rollers site and it’s a busy week at work, meaning short lunch breaks. So, let’s just check in real quick after Westerns here.

How we all feeling? Tired? Over being mad at Oly? Madder at Oly due to the whole neck-grab thing? Ambivalent? Excited for Championships/South Central/Easterns?

Did you go? How was it?

EDIT: Hey, I finished my blog post for the RCR website. See?

First, there’s this very popular one, on which there are many themes:

This meme spawned its own game, which has the player avoid bouncing manatees and, strangely, what looks like penguins. What are manatees and penguins doing in cahoots? They don’t even share the same habitat! You can also shoot the manatees, but I don’t approve of that.

Then there’s a variation on that theme:

Oh! indeed.

Then you could buy this on Etsy (Christmas is coming, after all):